Title: The Inscrutable Americans.
Author: Anurag Mathur.
Publisher: Rupa & co.
ISBN: 81-7167-040-7
Copyright: © Anurag Mathur, 1991
Incomplete
Description ...
Summary ...
Gopal's take on American women
-
While in most other countries, women maintained an even balance
between propriety and effusiveness in their greetings to visitors
throughout their life, in America it ranged from one extreme to the
other. It started with gum-chewing isolence as teenages. "Yeah?"
they grunted nastily. Sometimes they didn't even do that, merely
raising their eyebrows in disgust. In the most extreme case, they
didn't even bother to raise their eyebrows. They just stared in
expressionless contempt. But as they began to grow older, the
volume and intensity of their hellos began to increase, till by
college it was nearly civil. By the time they began working, it
became positively human. At marriage, a quantum leap into excessive
delight took place. And you knew someone has entered middle age
when she opened the door and on beholding you her effusions made you
suspect that this was by far the most significant, memorable and
thrilling moment of her life.
-
After the first few parties and feelings of foolishness, Gopal had
learned to take along some rubbishly Indian items. This, as always
was accepted by the hostess with such peals of pleasure, such
shrieks of ecstasy, that Gopal always feared one of them would fall
flat at his feet, her brain circuits overloaded with alpha waves,
her mouth foaming, her feet drumming.
[Dean's wife displays the table cloth to her friends]. He
observed the other women whose reactions of wild bliss and pure envy
seemed to indicate that they had never before seen such a rare and
wonderful work of art as the table cloth. Nor, from their
paroxysms, did they seem to think it likely that they ever would
again.
"It's lovely," moaned one.
"It's wonderrrrful," groaned another.
"Where can I get one from?" begged another, her pleading
demeanour suggesting that she was ready to sell everything she
possessed, including herself, if only she would be rewarded by a
piece of similar table cloth.
Gopal mumbled something about India, shuffled his feet and darted
back to his peanuts. He stood there recovering his breath. It can
be an unnerving experience, for those unaccustomed, to have a
roomful of faculty wives orgasming at you in chorus.
His (exaggerated) English is comical. A few Americanism seep into his
language during this stay there. This is brought out in his letters
that he writes to his brother in India.
-
At Customs brother, I am getting big shock. One fat man is grunting
at me and looking cleverly from small eyes. "First visit?" he is
asking, "Yes," I am agreeing. "Move on," he is saying making chalk
marks on bags. As I am picking up bags he is looking directly at me
and saying "Watch your ass."
Now, brother, this is wonderful. How is he knowing we are
purchasing donkey? I think they are knowing everything about
everybody who is coming to America.
-
How much I am missing one and all I simply cannot say. My head is
eating circles with all new things. Two weeks are already
proceeding and I am not even knowing.
Also no one is bothering who you are and you are also not to
bother. You are not believing, but I am calling respected
Professors by first name. One is saying to me, "My name is Sam, not
Sir Sam. The British are not knighting me yet." Good joke I think.
Brother, are you imagining if I am going to Great Principal of Jajua
College and calling him by frist name? I think he is dying of heart
attack.
Assuring that I will check you out later.
Opinion ...
Conclusion/Recommendation ...
